Commuting by bus(es) to office can get annoying. Especially when i’ve not slept well(or slept at all) and I’m trying to get to office without getting into trouble sleep-walking. The list of rants below is for those commuters who don’t give a thought to their surroundings and act like rubbish, much like the pissed off mood I’m in right now.
1. Don’t start searching for places right when you’re getting in. There are 20 more people behind you trying to get in.
2. When you’re seated on a seat meant for more than one passenger, stick to your half. Spread a little and I’d be more than happy to push you off of your half of the seat.
3. If you’re oversize and standing in the gangway, atleast make an effort to allow people trying to get in or out to get past you. It’s not like you’re invisible & definitely not someone whom people can pass right through.
4. If you get a little push in a crowded bus, keep your macho grin’s and (dirty)stares to yourself. I have mine to give you. You’re not the only one getting pushed around.
5. If your a lady, try not to occupy seats not meant for you, when seats meant for you are empty! Guys like me dont sit on your seats even if they are empty and there aren’t any ladies without seats. Be courteous or I wont be.
6. If your a lady, without a seat, standing beside me as i’m seated, dont expect me to fall for your puppy eyes and give up my seat. I dont do that to you, but I do give up my seat to someone I feel is more in need of than myself.
7. If you find the bus moving too slow, swearing at the driver doesn’t do any good. Try walking up to him and politely ask him to speed up a lil? P.S: Don’t bother asking my opinion as your co-passenger, it’s the last thing i’d want a conversation about.
8. To the bus conductors, don’t ask me to move ahead (“pudhey chala”) is irritating to say the very least when the seats ahead are meant for ladies, the elderly & the handicapped. Do you expect me to be baby-sit by them? Standing is a pain in itself, dont add the vocal annoyance. Get the ladies & the like ahead. I wont move ahead if I’m to miss out on a much needed seat after a hard day at work and with a laptop clinging to my back or if i don’t have to get off any soon. I would be glad to let the other’s get ahead, that want to.
9. If you happen to consume ‘paan’ don’t lean across me to reach the window to spit out your filth. It makes me wanna smash your face right into the metal or glass, whatever you prefer going face-first into. Avoid it completely, you’re only dirtying the bus and the city.
10. If you don’t have to get off the bus anytime soon try not to block the exits. You’re not paid to be the doorman.
11. Once you get off the bus, try moving away from the exit ASAP, drivers here get the bus in motion as soon as you get off, so get the hell out of the way when people behind you have to get off too. Else, i’ll just step over your feet to let you know where they should be heading.
12. Allow people carrying kids in their arms to get a seat or atleast move to a much comfortable place in the bus where the child isn’t subject to shoves.
13. If your a lady and find a gent sitting on the ladies seat, dont say,”Ladies seat hai” with your fake attitude! Men aren’t your maids that you can order around. Be polite. ‘Please’, ‘Excuse me’, ‘Could you’, aren’t only for the gentlemanly.
14. If your carrying light luggage, dont make it share my half of the seat. You wont be getting a lap dance from any lady in the bus, so why dont you warm it with your luggage?
15. Avoid standing right in the center of the gangway. Also if you have a backpack, keep it to the sides. A bulging backpack blocks the space in the center.
16. Keep your senses open to the surroundings. The bus isn’t your private property, neither are the people commuting your slaves. Be respectful, everyone has to get home after toiling through the day. Make it easier for them & yourself. If possible, afford a smile. It’s nice to see someone aware of other’s like you.
*Inner peace, inner peace, inner peace.. inn.. Argh!*