Archive for August, 2010

An avid music lover, I like listening to good songs. But, there are always some songs that make you want to hear them again and again. I remember during my engineering days, the music of Om Shanti Om [2007] had released around September I guess and I had just managed to catch a few words of ‘Ajab Si’ playing on the radio of my very first cell fone, a Nokia 3110c, one that I still have. I remember how hard I concentrated on those few words that I heard, memorized them as if they were answers to sure-shot viva questions, got home & Googled !

And that’s how I got to know of this amazing song. It’s one of those simple lyric, easy tempo, even simpler melody, awesomely vocalized by K.K songs that get right through to your heart especially if love is in the air (like it is now).  So much, that I listened to it for not less than 40 times that day, the actual number could be well double that..or more. It was on repeat for hours and it was only when my cell beeped Battery Low that I realized how fanatic I had gotten. But then, such is the brilliance of songs that make you forget everything and totally immerse you into their melody, much like love. Such songs just stick in your brain long after you’ve listened to them and the brain obliges by setting them on Repeat. It’s amazing how such songs hook you to them often when it’s the perfect song for your mood or relates to something that’s going on. Below is a quick short list of songs that come to mind right now & a few awesome lines from each.

Ajab Si K.K.
[“…Kitna kuch kehna hai phir bhi hai dil me sawaal kahin, Sapno me jo roz kaha hai who phir se kahun ya nahin?…”]

Mora SaiyanShafqat Amanat Ali
[“…Pyaar tumhe kitna karte hain, tum ye samajh nahi paoge…”]

Jaane Ye Kya HuaK.K.
[“…Tumhe hai pata maine pehli baar jo dekha tumhe
Mujhe ye lagaa,  Chahun bhi toh kaise paa sakoonga tumhe…”]

BrokenLifehouse
[“…The broken locks were a warning, you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I’m an open book instead…”]

HeavenDJ Sammy & Yanou
[“…Love is all that I need, & I found it there in your heart, It isn’t too hard to see, We’re in heaven…”]

You & MeLifehouse
[“…There’s something about you now, I can’t quite figure out.
Everything she does is beautiful, Everything she does is right…”]

What’s your quick list?

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Yesterday evening I found myself saying “I’m so glad you had fun!”. A second later I realized that I had uttered that statement, involuntarily; with some instinctive spontaneity that I don’t think I’ve exhibited anytime recently. Not that I was involved in anything ‘fun’, ‘exciting’ or anything adjectively exhilarating at that instant. Another thing that struck me was the genuine heartfelt happiness in it, maybe even uncontrolled. Not the kind of momentary happiness that you feel when an acquaintance tells you of their promotion or passing an exam or anything else that is ‘casual’.
How many times have you found happiness in someone else’s? It’s an awesome feeling to have. It’s one of those many rare occasions that come-by in one’s life but not so remembered for the rest of it. Happiness takes moments to AWESOMENESS !! Such happiness too leaves you desiring for nothing else; much like the happiness gotten from achieving something or in celebration! I don’t want to go give it too much thought, trying to figure out what the reason for the happiness could be. I’m just happy at this moment and that’s how I want it to be even if short lived.

Ben Stiller [as Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder(2008)]  – You m-m-m-mmm-m-make me happy.

~~~~~ Calvin and Hobbes ~~~~~

Calvin N Hobbes - It's hard to argue with someone who looks so happy.

Ever felt this way? Share the experience !

Some lines that I had written and buried somewhere on my previous blog, now finding its way here.

Each time.

Each time that I see your eyes,
My own freeze solid like the arctic ice.

Each time that I hear your voice,
Each spoken word drowns out the noise.

Each time that I see your smile,
My heart gets me to surrender mine.

Each time that I hold your hand,
I realize how much it’s in demand.

Each time that I think of you,
There’s nothing else I’d want to do.

Each time that I’m day-dreaming,
I realize that reality is far from believing.

Each time that my heart skips a beat,
I just smile knowing your approaching me.

Each time there’s something you’re about to say,
I wonder, how without words; do you take my breath away?

Each time that I make you laugh,
Do you realize, that it’s only you I love?

Each time that you go away,
I can’t wait to meet you the next day.

Each time that I’m about to sleep,
I set free my heart for you to keep.

Each time I wish that I not wish anymore,
I only succumb to my heart’s control.

Each time that with you I fight,
I stay awake trying to make it up that night.

Each time that I make you cry,
Next moment I’m wishing, that I’d die.

Each time that I’m alone,
I’m only praying; someday you’ll call me your own.

Each second of my existence I give to you.
Yearning, in return, for your love true.

Early this morning, say between 1-3AM for no apparent reason, ok maybe prolonged boredom! I found myself typing the address of a matrimonial site in the address bar. I always wanted to visit that site someday, thanks to the well planned marketing strategies adopted by such sites wherein they post potentially Miss Universe winning photographs of women in eye catching adverts on websites that I happen to visit. It was only after the page loaded that I realized the numbness in my brain with which I was staring at the page wondering what next? Unsure of what to do, I thought let’s register and see some nice matches. But so numb had I become that I couldn’t even locate the ‘Register Free’ button located bang in the middle surrounded in bridal red color. I had to ask a friend on chat to help me find it and graciously so, he did. As I moved my finger’s on the Mac’s trackpad at 2cm/s towards that button which has been known to change the lives of thousands of Indians, half my brain screamed “Watch it !!! ” while the other half begged,”Go on! Do it !”. The latter half won.

And there I was, entering information that could some day change my life if I ever needed to use that service (though once I believed I’d never have to), it was fun to me but only until I reached the 3rd page or so, I decided to call it quits. No registering, just window shop for now! After a few cancels & backs i found myself back to the first page, but this time entering match-winning criteria for a bride!
Some more pages, photos and info blah blah blah… lets quickly check out the match finding algorithm results my brain said. And there were a few. Thankfully my friend online too, I assume got infected with the window-shopping bug & for the next hour or so, we were exchanging profile id’s of some ok-kind ones with the exception of a few better-than-ok ones. If you ever need a laugh and have exhausted all the joke portals online, just head to any such matrimonial site and just glance at the ‘about-me’ or ‘personality’ reads. There’s some serious talent in there when it comes to packaging ones self into those lucrative 2days, 3 nights tour kind of offers that promise to take entertainment & satisfaction to the max.
One such profile was of a stuffed freida pinto lookalike with an amazing first liner in the info. It drove me nuts! Not because of what she looked like or didn’t look like but because of what she had written in the bio, check it out:

UNDERSTANDING CAN TAKE RYT N RONG DECISION

I was stunned. So stunned that both halves of my brain went what the fish !!
LMAO ! Seriously girl, if I’m gonna (hopefully not have to) marry you, you’re NOT taking any decisions ! 😀
That one line, all caps, so emphatic & captivating, devoid of any punctuation had me laughing my guts off for a good 10 minutes. Thank you for that, but I wouldn’t want to marry you because you’re NOT UNDERSTANDING what a matrimonial site’s supposed to get you. And there, you have lost one (of the most eligible) bachelor’s in the country. Thanks for the laughter though, if I ever meet you somewhere, I’ll thank you in person.
Unfortunately amidst all of the fun, my cellphone buzzed with a message thanking me for having registered on that site. Apparently, it so happened, that in my numbness, the first 2 pages or so of my info was enough to get registered and now I sit with an account on a matrimonial site, way before I intend to marry (if ever I do), feeling stupid and thinking, what was I thinking !
On the good side, i’ll just use the login to window-shop and laugh at the amusement such prospects provide. 😀 😀

When a movie, or something in it, leave’s you with a lasting impression, long after you’ve watched it & keep’s reminding you with that something, that you take with you, I feel, the purpose is served, making it a movie worth watching. I’m speaking of the movie, Batman Begins (2005). This post isn’t meant to be a review of it. It’s about something that registered in my mind as i watched it the first time, & constantly awakens my mind anticipating the moment when I will hear this dialogue once again, from the character Thomas Wayne to young Master Bruce after the latter fell into a kind of a well.

Thomas Wayne: And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

That is a strong statement at a time when a father (Thomas Wayne) could just have easily pacified a hurt child (Master Bruce) in any other way by just caressing the wound, or telling the child it wasn’t his fault at the fall or by means of trying to erase the pain by offering candy to the child. I remember how parents at times, in reality, tell their children to slap or hit an object that has caused the little ones to fall. Sometimes the kids do as their parents say & retaliate to the cause of the fall with a hit or parents do it themselves just to pacify the child by hitting or tapping the object, just to invoke a sense of having taken ‘revenge’ from the cause of the fall. And that is so wrong! When one can teach a right lesson to kids after a fall, a lesson that’ll build them up mentally for such obstacles, why teach them something wrong?

And why do we fall?

Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman

The dialogue quoted above has definitely left it’s mark on me. It’s a lesson that I’ve come to learn myself at times, maybe subconsciously, but I’ve never come across a more simple statement that could be so motivating & uplifting. Each time that I listen to that line, I get a feeling of adrenaline running through my veins & down my spine. Kudos to the writer’s. The same line is next uttered in the very same movie by another famous character of the film Alfred Pennyworth, to the now grown up Bruce Wayne.

Alfred Pennyworth: Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up.
Bruce Wayne: You still haven’t given up on me?
Alfred Pennyworth: Never.

There is so much to take away from it. Each time I fall, each time I commit a mistake, I don’t hate myself for it. True, that the sense of having faltered gets overwhelming at times, at that very instant, leaving very little scope for taking out any positives from it. But sooner or later, as I back-track to those occurrences & faults, I realize that I’ve always learned something out of it. The will to go on, no matter how many obstacles come up is what drives the achievers. I’m getting there too with every new & unexpected fall. It’s a fact that when you fall, the region where your bone makes contact with the object that causes the hurt gets calcium deposited over it, hardening that area more than before. Likewise, each fall in life should leave you with an added deposit, of will power, of self-belief, of strength, of inspiration, of a desire to get up and rise above the fall. There will be times when you fall alone, when you will look around and there will be no one to help you rise up, when people you expect to rush to you with help will be too busy to notice you’ve fallen, when there will be someone jeering & mocking you at having fallen, when you will want to stay down, afraid of getting up only to fall again as you approach your goals in life.

These are the times when you need to remember the simplest & most powerful lesson from a fall, Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. It’s exactly the way we learned to walk from the initial crawls as a toddler, & it’s exactly the way that we have to walk ahead in life, as obstacles come our way. Take the good out of life, look at the bright side of a fall.

Supposing you have tried and failed again and again.  You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down.  ~Mary Pickford

If you feel strongly about this post or have something to say, please leave your thoughts in the comments.

Love or Is It?

Posted: August 24, 2010 in Human Nature
Tags: , , ,

Love is one topic, subject rather with such a vast syllabus; that even a lifetime is insufficient to fully understand it. It is one thing that make’s the 4 years put into attaining a B.E degree seem easier. Yes, I always thought that getting a B.E degree would be the most testing time of my life, but LOVE beat’s everything. Love beats reasoning & ideology, heck, love can even get you ‘beaten’, literally. Why then am I writing all this stuff? It’s for the simple reason to add to already existing vastness of ideas & thoughts that one encapsulates love to be. My process of thoughts started with a little provocation. One odd proverb, which i personally feel doesn’t deserve to be called proverb because it’s more of a non-sensical statement, one that you might overhear at a bar uttered by someone totally wasted.
I always wonder why moving on after a failed relationship is so difficult. It always seems like WE make it difficult for OURselves. We say we’ve been through a period of TRUE LOVE. Atleast until one reaches 30, which is the minimum age limit that I am taking here, there are undoubtedly numerous such encounters. How does each such encounter amount to TRUE LOVE. Here I am only considering the one sided affairs or attractions because affair is most often two-sided, some feelings involved from both the guilty parties. Attraction can be one-sided, one lost soul wandering the bylanes of affection. Love cannot be defined, as it is probably the single most complex emotion in this world.
The provocative statement was,

“True love never dies, even if you have found a new love, the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.”

How the HELL? and that’s a really pissed how the HELL? can that above statement ever make sense? I’m starting to rant but it’s just 2 lines of rant & for once I strongly believe that I am right.
Here I put forth my justifications, like love’s lawyer, trying to defend it’s sanctity, the purity & happiness that it pours upon it’s recipient. I’ll break-down the statement and reason its senselessness where it shows.

1. “True love never dies,…”

–  Agreed, the only thing that’s worth giving any thought.

2. “… even if you have found a new love,…”

– Now wait a second ! Found new love? What was the old one that you got out of then? Fantasy? Very much so! If you (i.e. WE) have found new love, then what existed earlier can very well be dismissed, without second thought as pure fantasy, attraction. To summarize, ‘infatuation‘. The very strong liking for someone which is so much like Love, that it fools us into believing that we love someone, that’s infatuation. It is so powerful, that it mimics all the common feelings felt in love, the strong wanting to be with someone, wanting someone’s attention, feeling strongly attracted, continually thinking of that someone. It’s like consulting a ‘Baba Bangali’ or ‘Tantrik‘ than visiting a Doctor.

3. “…the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.”

– Bullshit ! Utter bullshit. Nightmare’s hunt you, rather haunt you! Not sweet memories 🙂 Sweet memories are cherished, not taken as a bad dream that follows you long after you’ve woken up from sleep. If you let the sweet memories hunt you, then you are cheating on the new love you’ve found. You are not giving yourself into it 100%, and hence you are NOT in love again. You are merely testing the waters at the shore than drowning mid-ocean in love. It sucks to think that way, second love n sweet memories. Have you ever thought what you are doing to the person, this second love, if they were to love you? (and NOT BE infatuated by you) You are walking over them like a carpet, over their emotions. It’s hard to find true love, and if this second love is true, from this second person about you, then you are just insulting their feelings and emotions. Letting something of the past, which was never meant to be, to run rampant over what is and what could be the future of something sacred and beautiful. It’d break down this other person if they were to get the slightest whiff of this inability of you to get over something insignificant and start afresh. It would make them cry from the inside (& they may not show it), when they see every emotion of love that they show, get near you, but not into you. It would tear their heart to think of you trying to get rid of something that you could let go of, like discarded clothes. Taken off, n done with. Maybe they’d help you get over, maybe they won’t and let you find your way back to life, hoping that with time, all will be well. Instead, one needs to learn to realize when one has experienced true love. One needs to pay attention to the love one receives, like that from one’s parents &/or friends, and this second person.

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second – Johnny Depp

True love is selfless, unquestioned, unbiased, unprejudiced & sacrificial. It is true love that makes a person be there for you through thick & thin. It is true love that makes a person do everything, sometimes beyond human limit, for you. It is true love that makes a person stick with you, while you are lost back in time with memories of your infatuated self. It is true love that makes you wanna pray for someone, for their well being, instead of making you pray, ‘God, please let him/her love me’. It is true love that never gives up, beyond time & space & beyond all constraints. It is true love that makes a person accept you as you are, faults & limitations included, knowing your dreaded past, and still wanting to make your present and future beautiful with you. True love is so much more!

Let true love get to you, don’t let infatuation punch it in the face. Learn to let go, things were never meant to be if they never happened. Respect & love the love you receive. Love is beautiful, sacred. You can never mistake its sanctity, one of the many characteristics that differentiates it from infatuation. You would know when you have found & experienced true love. One proverb that stands very true is,

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, you’ve found true love, if not, it never was.”

And that’s the truth.

P.S: If you like/disliked this post or have a strong urge to reply or the faintest feeling of putting forth your views, please do so in the comments below, I’d really appreciate it. And I promise, i wont rant about it.. i’ll try.

In Pieces

Posted: August 22, 2010 in Poetry

It’s odd that i should experience short term amnesia right when i login into my blog, but who can tell what’s going to happen. Probably the same amnesia caused me to forget my once oh-so-loved-by-me-blog 😦

In Pieces

I held on for too long,
I didn’t know.
The pain held inside,
I didn’t show.

Love could end so fast,
I couldn’t believe.
To go on without you,
I couldn’t percieve.

Those moments of love,
Were everything to me.
To love you all along,
Was my chosen destiny.

I guess fate didn’t want it,
My love for you, now you didn’t need it.
Times changed & things weren’t like before,
The joy in your smile wasn’t there anymore.

To realize you were gone,
Shred & tore my heart.
I wished you would never have promised,
To never go apart.

All that’s left now,
Is pieces of me.
Putting them back together,
Just hoping you’ll see.
That each piece of my heart,
Has nothing in it, but you.
You’ve moved onto a new love,
But i will always love you.

Disclaimer: The above lines bear no resemblance to my current state of being and is merely a work of fiction 🙂 Any conclusions drawn will not be entertained.