Posts Tagged ‘affection’

Love or Is It?

Posted: August 24, 2010 in Human Nature
Tags: , , ,

Love is one topic, subject rather with such a vast syllabus; that even a lifetime is insufficient to fully understand it. It is one thing that make’s the 4 years put into attaining a B.E degree seem easier. Yes, I always thought that getting a B.E degree would be the most testing time of my life, but LOVE beat’s everything. Love beats reasoning & ideology, heck, love can even get you ‘beaten’, literally. Why then am I writing all this stuff? It’s for the simple reason to add to already existing vastness of ideas & thoughts that one encapsulates love to be. My process of thoughts started with a little provocation. One odd proverb, which i personally feel doesn’t deserve to be called proverb because it’s more of a non-sensical statement, one that you might overhear at a bar uttered by someone totally wasted.
I always wonder why moving on after a failed relationship is so difficult. It always seems like WE make it difficult for OURselves. We say we’ve been through a period of TRUE LOVE. Atleast until one reaches 30, which is the minimum age limit that I am taking here, there are undoubtedly numerous such encounters. How does each such encounter amount to TRUE LOVE. Here I am only considering the one sided affairs or attractions because affair is most often two-sided, some feelings involved from both the guilty parties. Attraction can be one-sided, one lost soul wandering the bylanes of affection. Love cannot be defined, as it is probably the single most complex emotion in this world.
The provocative statement was,

“True love never dies, even if you have found a new love, the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.”

How the HELL? and that’s a really pissed how the HELL? can that above statement ever make sense? I’m starting to rant but it’s just 2 lines of rant & for once I strongly believe that I am right.
Here I put forth my justifications, like love’s lawyer, trying to defend it’s sanctity, the purity & happiness that it pours upon it’s recipient. I’ll break-down the statement and reason its senselessness where it shows.

1. “True love never dies,…”

–  Agreed, the only thing that’s worth giving any thought.

2. “… even if you have found a new love,…”

– Now wait a second ! Found new love? What was the old one that you got out of then? Fantasy? Very much so! If you (i.e. WE) have found new love, then what existed earlier can very well be dismissed, without second thought as pure fantasy, attraction. To summarize, ‘infatuation‘. The very strong liking for someone which is so much like Love, that it fools us into believing that we love someone, that’s infatuation. It is so powerful, that it mimics all the common feelings felt in love, the strong wanting to be with someone, wanting someone’s attention, feeling strongly attracted, continually thinking of that someone. It’s like consulting a ‘Baba Bangali’ or ‘Tantrik‘ than visiting a Doctor.

3. “…the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.”

– Bullshit ! Utter bullshit. Nightmare’s hunt you, rather haunt you! Not sweet memories 🙂 Sweet memories are cherished, not taken as a bad dream that follows you long after you’ve woken up from sleep. If you let the sweet memories hunt you, then you are cheating on the new love you’ve found. You are not giving yourself into it 100%, and hence you are NOT in love again. You are merely testing the waters at the shore than drowning mid-ocean in love. It sucks to think that way, second love n sweet memories. Have you ever thought what you are doing to the person, this second love, if they were to love you? (and NOT BE infatuated by you) You are walking over them like a carpet, over their emotions. It’s hard to find true love, and if this second love is true, from this second person about you, then you are just insulting their feelings and emotions. Letting something of the past, which was never meant to be, to run rampant over what is and what could be the future of something sacred and beautiful. It’d break down this other person if they were to get the slightest whiff of this inability of you to get over something insignificant and start afresh. It would make them cry from the inside (& they may not show it), when they see every emotion of love that they show, get near you, but not into you. It would tear their heart to think of you trying to get rid of something that you could let go of, like discarded clothes. Taken off, n done with. Maybe they’d help you get over, maybe they won’t and let you find your way back to life, hoping that with time, all will be well. Instead, one needs to learn to realize when one has experienced true love. One needs to pay attention to the love one receives, like that from one’s parents &/or friends, and this second person.

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second – Johnny Depp

True love is selfless, unquestioned, unbiased, unprejudiced & sacrificial. It is true love that makes a person be there for you through thick & thin. It is true love that makes a person do everything, sometimes beyond human limit, for you. It is true love that makes a person stick with you, while you are lost back in time with memories of your infatuated self. It is true love that makes you wanna pray for someone, for their well being, instead of making you pray, ‘God, please let him/her love me’. It is true love that never gives up, beyond time & space & beyond all constraints. It is true love that makes a person accept you as you are, faults & limitations included, knowing your dreaded past, and still wanting to make your present and future beautiful with you. True love is so much more!

Let true love get to you, don’t let infatuation punch it in the face. Learn to let go, things were never meant to be if they never happened. Respect & love the love you receive. Love is beautiful, sacred. You can never mistake its sanctity, one of the many characteristics that differentiates it from infatuation. You would know when you have found & experienced true love. One proverb that stands very true is,

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, you’ve found true love, if not, it never was.”

And that’s the truth.

P.S: If you like/disliked this post or have a strong urge to reply or the faintest feeling of putting forth your views, please do so in the comments below, I’d really appreciate it. And I promise, i wont rant about it.. i’ll try.